Compulsions

Yesterday I left work with a bad taste in my mouth but called my father. Braved the drunken clowniness so to speak. But it is my first to aggressive passive agressivness. I will save my father. So to speak.
Back to work. I was observing a visit between a four year old girl and her cousin. slash. mother. slash mothers boyfriend.
I learned something. Like always. People will take kindess for weekness. I knew this already. What do I need to say. I am sick of thinking about this and talking about this. The fact of the matter is I left work feeling the heaviness and weariness of this job. And when I vented to a coworker she really railed me for being weak. Why do I consistantly feel such lack of confidence in my work and how other feel about my work? Why? Will this happen forever? Maybe. Did I not feel this before. I dont know. But in the same way they do cheer me on and encourage me. I know I am so confused.
I went to a movie with my boo last night and through out all of House of Flying Daggers I was thinking what I need to change what i could have done differently. I dont know.